Coping with Retirement |
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| In her book Necessary Losses , Judith Viorst describes the shifts in our self-image as we reach the age of retirement and says: | ||
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| If we can make these adjustments and truly mourn our old self-image, we can free ourselves up to enjoy new joys in life. | ||
| Retirement is often synonymous with “freedom to do what I want”. For many, however, it also means limitations, losses, financial fears, and worries about how to stay healthy and leave family members unburdened. The very freedom that creates joy for many can be imprisoning emotionally and socially for others. Without the routine of work, people lose structure, social interactions, a sense of purpose, loss of professional identity, loss of income, and loss of lifestyle. For some, too much time on their hands leads to anxiety and depression. The time to think and feel allows for any unresolved conflicts of the past to surface. In couples, the extra time together could be positive or negative depending upon the level of intimacy in the relationship all along. Added time together may be wonderful or smothering. Changes occur in the balance of chores, roles, and power. | ||
| Retirement is often synonymous with “freedom to do what I want”. For many, however, it also means limitations, losses, financial fears, and worries about how to stay healthy and leave family members unburdened. The very freedom that creates joy for many can be imprisoning emotionally and socially for others. Without the routine of work, people lose structure, social interactions, a sense of purpose, loss of professional identity, loss of income, and loss of lifestyle. For some, too much time on their hands leads to anxiety and depression. The time to think and feel allows for any unresolved conflicts of the past to surface. In couples, the extra time together could be positive or negative depending upon the level of intimacy in the relationship all along. Added time together may be wonderful or smothering. Changes occur in the balance of chores, roles, and power. | ||
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Practical Suggestions |
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| Make appointments with spouse to ensure quality time together …make a list of things you like to do and have your spouse do the same. Look for common interests and do things you both like to do. Take turns doing what the other likes that you are willing to try. | ||
| Balance time alone with time together . You have been away from home for many years for 8 hours a day. Now, you cannot expect to have those 8 hours of togetherness. | ||
| Structure time : Get up at the same time each day and plan to exercise, walk, go to a club, do yoga, meditation, go out to eat, read. Plan your day to include things that are good for you physically, emotionally, and spiritually. | ||
| Don’t worry about what you cannot control (i.e. fear of illness, who will care for me) Plan ahead financially and make a will and then let it go. | ||
| Volunteer your time at church, temple, and synagogue or in the community. | ||
| Take classes | ||
| Enhance your communication to friends, family and make new friends on the Internet | ||
| Travel …active adventure through elder hostels, “Backroads Travel” or other religious or senior mingles groups | ||
| Journal feelings | ||
| Get therapy to cope with emotional struggles or old unfinished business. Old dogs can learn new tricks! Self-growth to be a kinder, more generous, happy person | ||
| Baby-sit ; be with family and friends more | ||
| Dating if you are divorced or widowed (singles for seniors, Elder-hostel groups) | ||
| Card games, new hobbies | ||
| Walk to places…more time to get there and good exercise | ||
| Shop for bargains …more time to go out of your way for better prices | ||
| Plan each day ahead of time to include reading, fun, relaxation, mental activities, and physical activities | ||
| Decide how you want to be remembered and try to live up to that now! | ||
| Read your AARP magazine . It is an excellent resource for ideas and suggestions. |
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This article was written by Dr. Laurel A. Sills, a Fully Licensed Clinical Psychologist (since 1987) and Life Coach. She provides direct, down-to-earth, short-term therapy with long-term results. She is passionate in her work and will help you stay motivated to change your life with regular commitment to changing habits in thinking and behaving. See her website at: www.DrLSills.com or www.BuildAStrongerYou.com |
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Copyright 2006© Laurel A. Sills, Psy.D. All rights reserved Back to Articles |