Is a Cigar Just a Cigar? |
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| Freud might be ecstatic if he could see the latest cigar craze cropping up everywhere, especially in the single’s crowd. Not just men, but women, too are puffing away on those stinky, dirty stogies. Hey, no one said a woman cannot do what a man does! Is it sublimation; a way to substitute a need for one thing by using another behavior? Is it that singlehood is so frustrating that sticking a cigar in one’s mouth acts as a pacifier? Maybe a deterrent to ward off potential kisses by a not so-desired suitor due to the horrendous breath it creates. | ||
| Warning: This article is based on my opinion and observations and may disturb the serious cigar smokers. My purpose is not to be far right, or moralistic. Everyone has freedom of choice and individualism. But I will question some of the behaviors people choose to follow. So, if you feel you will be highly insulted by queries into why people insist on doing such self-destructive habits, do not read further. | ||
| As I enter some of the “hot” social gathering places around this town and others, I cannot understand why in the l990’s we seem to be going backwards in some ways. Cigars have always been around. But for a long time, no one would ever think of smoking one inside a restaurant, someone’s home without permission or in enclosed spaces out of respect. Cigarettes were very popular for both men and women especially through the l950’s, but as more and more research showed the negative effects of smoking on birth weight, lungs, heart, mouth, gum, and throat, people worked very hard to give up this very addictive, yet devastating habit. Recently, the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health estimated that 35,000 to 40,000 nonsmokers die of heart and blood vessel disease each year from second-hand smoke and that nonsmoking women living with a smoking partner have a 19% higher risk of death from heart disease (Nov.’96 issue of American Health Magazine). If we are so sophisticated and educated, than why on earth has cigarette and cigar smoking been resurrected as such a craze? | ||
| Do not look to me for the answer, this time. Cigars may not be as detrimental as cigarettes, but they still cannot be healthy. So, I can only conjure up my own hypotheses and give readers room for thought…thoughts of agreement…or thoughts of wanting to stone me for being critical of this behavior. | ||
| There is a real dilemma for single, divorced and widowed people who are trying hard to “get out there” to meet others, especially if they have allergies, are asthmatic, or just are smart enough to not want to breath in toxic air from second-hand smoke. In very crowded watering holes, it does not feel like “second-hand smoke”. After a five-minute stay at one popular local spot, a friend and I left and needed about an hour of fresh air to semi-neutralize the lousy smell and feel of having smoke in our clothes, hair, eyes, and lungs. We were both disappointed in the fact that so many prior “lung-friendly” social gathering places have succumb to this revised fad. Of course, she has asthma and we both have allergies. I just cannot see spending as much time, money, and energy on medicines, doctor visits, and health care to then “undo” these efforts by entering a smoke-filled crowded club. So…I typically chose to stay out. This is a problem for many other social people who would also like to mingle, but not at the expense of their health. | ||
| It is interesting that many people often pick self-destructive habits and fads to be a large part of the social scene such as excessive drinking, “designer drugs,” piercing vulnerable and “disease-susceptible” body parts, competing for best tans, thinnest waif, having anabolic “steroidal” bodies, and smoking both cigarettes and cigars. There has always been a sense of “safety in numbers” that adds to the pull of peer pressure to do the things we know are not so great for us to do. We say, “Well, if they are all doing it, it can’t be so bad”. “It’s only for a night or two that we breathe the carcinogen-filled air.” My lungs and mouth won’t get diseased from cancer…not me!” Denial always plays a part in maintaining repetitive or addictive self-destructive behaviors. | ||
| The other major pull is to not feel left out. No one wants to feel “square,” “old-fashioned,” “out of style,” or “left out”. Well, I do and will as long as this fad remains “hot”. It is a choice. For all of you socializers out there who neither smoke nor want the effects of smoke from others, you are not alone. This is not to say that you may never see me at one of these places…it is hard to completely avoid them…but it will be on a rare occasion. I vote for fresh air, good breath, and good health!! | ||
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This article was written by Dr. Laurel A. Sills, a Fully Licensed Clinical Psychologist (since 1987) and Life Coach. She provides direct, down-to-earth, short-term therapy with long-term results. She is passionate in her work and will help you stay motivated to change your life with regular commitment to changing habits in thinking and behaving. See her website at: www.DrLSills.com or www.BuildAStrongerYou.com |
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Copyright 2006© Laurel A. Sills, Psy.D. All rights reserved Back to Articles |