Predicting Violence in Teens |
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| With the recent shootings at Santana, coupled with Columbine, and other shocking stories of kids shooting kids in the weekly news, questions of how to predict violence abound. Psychologists are supposed to be experts at understanding human behavior. But even the best psychologists and forensic experts in the FBI cannot find a common psychological profile of violent kids that become shooters. | ||
| Violence is best predicted by a history of prior violent behavior. But, not all shooters have a history of violent behavior. Since there is no set profile for kids who will turn on others in a crazed violent way, the best way to prevent violence is to pay keen attention to some themes that the shooters share. Themes of having rage, being isolated, feeling teased, picked on or ridiculed, being rejected, depressed, having low self-esteem, having a need for fame, and focus on death or guns are common. | ||
| If you listen carefully to your children, know what is happening with them at school, help them talk through their hurt, monitor their behavior after school, prevent them from accessing guns, and get them professional help for depression, anxiety, and anger right away, the likelihood of violent behavior may be squelched greatly. | ||
| Oftentimes, kids that rage don’t have help to work through their pain. They feel isolated and alienated from support and want to hurt back. So, any time there is evidence of sadness, anger, hurt, it is best to tune right into your kids and talk about what they are feeling. If your child or teen shows withdrawal, temper outbursts, self-injurious behavior, bullying, or obsession with death or guns or aggression, ask direct questions about what they are feeling and why. Help them feel free to talk about their hurt and look for strengths to counter places they feel weak. | ||
| There is no sure prevention for behavior that is unpredictable or unexplainable, but there are often danger signs that are given in advance. It is at the first signs of problems that we have the chance to affect change that will prevent escalation of anger, hurt, rage and violence. Fighting is not the best way to combat bullying, hurt feelings, being teased. Parents have to help kids find ways to talk to themselves in a more positive way. Kids need to feel that their feelings of pain are justified, but acting out their anger in a violent way is not an option. | ||
| LISTEN to your kids verbally and nonverbally. Observe them. Watch for changes in their behavior, friendship patterns, play behaviors, grades, attitudes. Stay involved. Make sure you tell them and show them you love them by KNOWING what is happening with them and what they are thinking and feeling about their worlds. Screen out their television viewing, Nintendo playing, video games and use of the computer as much as you possibly can. Let them know what your values are by stating them directly and providing good rationale for your beliefs. | ||
| Help your kids problem solve. Help them understand that rejection, aggression of others, bullying shows pain in the kid who is doing the hurtful behavior. Normalize that we all get hurt at times, but that hurting back is not okay. | ||
| Finally, if you ever hear kids talk about using guns, knives, violence, bombs, take them seriously and call the police and get professional help for your kids. Play hardball with threats of violence. Zero tolerance is the only way. Do not be afraid to act. It is best to involve parents, school personnel, the police and mental health professionals rather than minimize the problems for fear of overreacting. |
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This article was written by Dr. Laurel A. Sills, a Fully Licensed Clinical Psychologist (since 1987) and Life Coach. She provides direct, down-to-earth, short-term therapy with long-term results. She is passionate in her work and will help you stay motivated to change your life with regular commitment to changing habits in thinking and behaving. See her website at: www.DrLSills.com or www.BuildAStrongerYou.com |
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Copyright 2006© Laurel A. Sills, Psy.D. All rights reserved Back to Articles |