School Anxiety Not Just For Kids |
||
|
By |
||
|
|
||
| It’s that time of year again. Labor Day is coming. Ads abound about “back to school bargains” for clothes and supplies. Are you getting nervous? | ||
| While children, teens, and college-age students typically get a bit nervous about starting a new year, parents and non-parents alike may also feel uneasy. Have you ever noticed that when fall starts and you see those yellow buses go by that you are feeling nervous? I realized one year that the distinct sound of the school bus engine going by makes me feel a bit funny. I recognized that certain events happened during my school bus years that were difficult. The sound of the bus conditioned a reaction in me that I was not even aware of at first. Even if you do not have children of your own, this time of year can stir up old feelings from when you were in school. | ||
| As children reach certain developmental ages, we are reminded (often unconsciously) of our own issues at that same age. School time may bring up issues of performance anxiety, separation anxiety, peer pressure, bullies, learning disabilities, social phobias, shyness, embarrassments, disappointments, hurt feelings, and pressures to achieve. We cannot help but be reminded of or relive some of our own experiences as we watch our own children or children of others go through developmental stepping-stones. At the age of each of your children or those around you, pay attention to what was happening in your own life when you were that age. If you feel uneasy, look back to your family, school, and peer relations at that same age for clues as to why you are feeling some angst. | ||
| Not only do we worry for our children, but we may also carry our own additional unhealed pain from our own school years. Be careful not to assume that your children will have the same problems that you had. After all, they each have their own personality and have another set of genes influencing them, too. Listen to your kids fears, excitement, nervousness, and problems about school. Try to separate their issues from your own. If you had similar issues, you may use your own history to help guide your children. But, if you are still affected by your own unresolved past, you may not be able to help your children effectively. | ||
| Listen to your own gut. Pay attention to how you feel as your child goes off to school for the first time. Pay attention to issues of low self-esteem, avoidance of school, excessive worries about being liked, or doing well. If you feel especially anxious, depressed, angry, or irritable, or you are overly controlling or protective of your children, look back at your own life. There may be clues there about your own issues that are blurring your own objectivity in being a reassuring parent. | ||
| Consult a professional if you feel that something is upsetting you more than usual. Much of our own issues are not readily visible. This has nothing to do with your intelligence or insight, either. We all have blind spots. School years are vital. They cover our formative years where so much growth occurs. Make sure that your school bus blues are not sounding any personal alarms about your own unfinished emotional homework. |
|
This article was written by Dr. Laurel A. Sills, a Fully Licensed Clinical Psychologist (since 1987) and Life Coach. She provides direct, down-to-earth, short-term therapy with long-term results. She is passionate in her work and will help you stay motivated to change your life with regular commitment to changing habits in thinking and behaving. See her website at: www.DrLSills.com or www.BuildAStrongerYou.com |
||
|
Copyright 2006© Laurel A. Sills, Psy.D. All rights reserved Back to Articles |