Self-acceptance, Please! |
||
|
By |
||
|
|
||
| Why is it so hard to just be happy with ourselves? Who knows. But we do know that it would be healthy for us to achieve a high level of self-acceptance and comfort with who we are as unique individuals. | ||
| Women always seem to feel too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, too big-chested, too small breasted, too curly-haired, too straight haired. Men seem to feel too short, too skinny, too shy, too weak, too clumsy, too unconfident, too financial insecure, too old, too tired, too helpless. How do we undo years of “supposed-to” messages? You know, you are supposed to weigh this. You are supposed to own this. You are supposed to dress like this. You are supposed to drive this. You are supposed to be cool. How many of us truly look like Cristy Brinkley or Mel Gibson; or are as smart as Ted Koppel or Cokie Roberts; or as approachable as Barbara Walters; or as wealthy as _________(you fill in the blank). Most of us are hard-working Joe and Jane average… average as compared to these famous people…yet not average in my book. | ||
| People are mostly good. While some of us are more motivated, more successful, more well mannered, more intelligent, more thoughtful, more organized than others, most people have qualities about them that make them beautiful as people. Those of us who have seen movies like The Elephant Man, Beauty and the Beast, The Mask, or Powder all know that it is the soul and mind of each of us that can truly determine the beauty of a person. The package is just the shell. All we can do with a shell is admire its appearance. Without the creature inside, there is no life. | ||
| So many people, including myself, struggle with losing those last 10 pounds, accepting the aging process gracefully, not having perfect confidence in every situation, or not being successful enough despite looking this way to the majority of people around us. Some self-criticalness is necessary in order to grow, maintain a sense of reality and to improve oneself. Too much is paralyzing, annoying for others to listen to and depressing. We need to work to be the best we can be (Borrowed from one of the US armed forces ads), and never give up trying to feel good about who we are even with faults and limitations. | ||
| When will the advertisers look to Canada for role models? Oftentimes, their ads have ordinary-looking human beings in them with messages like, “Be Proud to Be a Canadian”. Short and simple. Not pretentious, not envy provoking, not unrealistic. | ||
| We have known for years that eating disorders and women’s body image problems are related to the bombardment of media messages that women are to be tall, thin, sexy, blonde or darn gorgeous if not blonde. Men are supposed to be like knights on horses, wearing fur coats and riding into the snow with a gorgeous woman behind him admiring his cologne. The media has not changed despite mental health problems. Cigarette ads are still in magazines despite lung and mouth cancer. We cannot rely upon advertisers to change. They are too profit-oriented. We must recognize which messages are unrealistic and dangerous to our emotional or physical well-being and not attend to them with any seriousness. | ||
| I challenge each reader to take off his or her clothes, look in the mirror, and not make one self-deprecating remark. Furthermore, I challenge you each to write out at least three assets about your face/body that you like. Finally, I challenge you each to write out at least three qualities about your personality and/or behavior that you respect and that make you feel proud. | ||
| Let me know how you do at this task. Most likely, and most unfortunately, you will be more comfortable with the task of degrading yourself than you will with complimenting yourself. Prove me wrong and work on liking who you are; pimples, dimples, receding hair lines, sagging breasts and butts, dunflops disease, fat, varicose veins, skin and bones, and all! |
|
This article was written by Dr. Laurel A. Sills, a Fully Licensed Clinical Psychologist (since 1987) and Life Coach. She provides direct, down-to-earth, short-term therapy with long-term results. She is passionate in her work and will help you stay motivated to change your life with regular commitment to changing habits in thinking and behaving. See her website at: www.DrLSills.com or www.BuildAStrongerYou.com |
||
|
Copyright 2006© Laurel A. Sills, Psy.D. All rights reserved Back to Articles |